Four Extraterrestrials Arrested for Causing Catastrophic Floods in North Carolina!

Photograph above shows alleged conspirators departing from the Sky Serpent Spaceport in Northeast Georgia, under escort by Space Marshalls. They will be arraigned at their home planet, Regulus, in the Pleiades Galaxy.

LIDAR image of Sky Serpent Spaceport – immediately east of Nacoochee Methodist Church

Sodom Hollow, NC near Asheville – It was here, late in the afternoon of Friday, October 4, 2024, that a join task force of U. S. Space Force Rangers and Intergalactic Space Marshalls captured a Klingon engineer, responsible for controlling weather in the Central North Carolina Mountains, in the company of wealthy Asheville socialite. May-Belle Kuykendall. The recently divorced woman lives in a futuristic house on Beaucatcher Mountain, overlooking Downtown Asheville. The couple were trying to escape on foot from the Asheville Area.

The Klingon was at first thought responsible for the catastrophic flooding. Interrogation of the two lovebirds individually revealed that the Klingon was in a tryst with Ms. Kuykendall, when he was supposed to be on duty, monitoring sensors. Kuykendall confessed that a stranger had offered to pay her $50,000 to lure the Klingon into Biblical knowledge at her home. In the process, the two fell in love.

The Klingon was immediately fired from his job. A session of the Intergalactic Court was called into session by proxy. Both the Klingon, whose name can’t be pronounced in English and Kuykendall, were found guilty of negligent fooling-around. They were both sentenced to having to live in Asheville for the next year. The handcuffed socialite screamed, “This is a fate worse than death,” as she was being pushed into a helicopter.

The Grove Arcade in Downtown Asheville (1938 painting)

Regulan terrorists charged with mass homicide & terrorism

Based on the descriptions, provided by Ms. Kuykendall, the Joint Task Force were able to track down the four terrorists, who altered the settings of the Asheville Area Weather computer, secretly located in the Grove Arcade in Downtown Asheville. It is disguised as the original offices of NOAA’s National Climatic Records Center.

The four bisexual extraterrestrials are members of an extremist organization on the Planet Regulus, that opposes normalization of relations of the Planet Earth Confederation with the Klingon Empire. They created a Weather Bomb in a laboratory hidden inside Yonah Mountain, GA. The Weather Bomb was hidden inside a fake tornado, wrapped in bolts of lightning then launched toward the French Broad River Valley, where Asheville is located.

Investigators analyzed the radar images to find evidence of weather manipulation, as claimed by Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene. The noticed a football-shaped cloud, producing intense rainfall, which first appeared over the Nacoochee Valley in Northeast Georgia. It traveled northeastward then seemed to explode over western North Carolina.

Margorie Taylor-Greene to be awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom

President Joseph Biden announced this morning at a Whitehouse Press Conference that he planned to award his long-time admirer, MTG, for her key role in busting the Librul terrorists from the planet Regulus, who masterminded the catastrophic floods in North Carolina. MTG only knew that “They” did it and pointed to the heavens, but this was enough information for the Intergalactic Space Marshalls to go to work.

Biden added that “Representative Taylor-Greene has repeatedly proven that we can’t trust the fake science spewed out by the Librul Scientists Cartel. Therefore, I am also appointing her to be the new president of the National Science Foundation.”

When notified of the honor by TV reporters, Taylor-Greene gushed and announced that since she is now legally divorced, she can happily tell the world that she and secret best friend for many years, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, are moving in together. She swooned, “It will be the happiest day of my life as Alexandria and I come out of the closet together and hold hands in the Oval Office in front of Joe, our beloved, surrogate father!”